The Office Quotes
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An adaptation of a BBC series of the same name, the American version of The Office aired for nine seasons on NBC from 2005 to 2013. It received positive reviews and was loved by many people almost all through its run as it repeatedly broke the invisible, imagined wall that separates actors from audiences and introduced many characters that will not be forgotten in a very long time. In case you doubt this, The Office quotes below will definitely convince you.

The show suffered no shortage of heartfelt moments and belly-aching laughs, thanks to the prank war between Jim and Dwight, Michael’s personal mischief and the multiple romances that went on in the office. As a matter of fact, the character of Michael Scott was a complete collection of one-line jokes. Even though the last season of the television show aired in May 2013, it is still very much relevant, popular, and as funny as ever, as a result of the new crop of people watching it on Netflix.

60 Interesting The Office Quotes For The TV Show Fans

1. Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott, Season 2, “The Fight”.

2. No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs … Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there? – Michael Scott, Season 5, “Stress Relief”.

3. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people. – Dwight Schrute, Season 2, “Office Olympics”.

4. Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will. – Dwight Schrute.

5. And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.- Dwight Schrute.

6. Well, it’s love at first sight. Actually, it was… No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Goodbye, Toby (1).

7. Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: Traveling Salesmen.

8. It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 4: Survivor Man.

9. Pam Beesly: Dwight, am I hot right now?
Dwight Schrute: Why would I or anyone else think that you’re hot right now? I can’t impregnate you, and that’s the driving force between male-female attraction. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 8: Pam’s Replacement.

10. I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month’s notice before they leave. — Toby Flenderson (Paul Lieberstein), The Office, Season 9: Finale.

11. Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. – Michael Scott, Season 5, “The Duel”.

12. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year. – Dwight Schrute, Season 3, “Product Recall”.

13. And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do. – Michael Scott, Season 5, “Stress Relief”.

14. I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran, killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight. – Dwight Schrute.

15. Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Fun Run (1).

16. I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 7: Training Day.

17. I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: The Convention.

18. I’m sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 1: Basketball.

19. Oscar Martinez: Don’t you want to see the baby?
Dwight Schrute: Psh! Why? I know what Angela and the senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 8: Jury Duty.

20. Friends joke with one another. ‘Hey, you’re poor.’ ‘Hey, your momma’s dead.’ That’s what friends do. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: The Deposition.

21. I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out. – Kelly Kapoor, Season 7, “Counseling”.

22. Today, smoking is going to save lives. – Dwight Schrute, Season 5, “Stress Relief”.

23. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point? – Pam Beesly, Season 9, “Finale”.

24. As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing to do is put it out of its misery. With the electricity we are using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical. – Dwight Schrute.

25. No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 1: Pilot.

26. I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Launch Party (1).

27. I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 9: Finale.

28. Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: Women’s Appreciation.

29. Ryan: Do you have a question, Kelly?
Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you? — Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), The Office, Season 4: Night Out.

The Office Quotes
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30. Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s not really a part of our family. Also he’s divorced… so he’s not really a part of his family. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 2: Sexual Harassment.

31. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott, Season 4, “Fun Run”.

32. I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good. – Michael Scott, Season 4, “Money”.

33. I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… And a panther. – Dwight Schrute.

34. I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same…except I could fly. – Dwight Schrute.

35. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief.

36. I am Beyonce, always. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 6: Body Language.

37. Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 8: Special Project.

38. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get and go sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch was paid for. That is the life. — Stanley Hudson (Leslie David Baker), The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas (1).

39. I had a great summer. I got west Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it… — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 7: Nepotism.

40. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 6: Body Language.

41. If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die. – Stanley Hudson, Season 4, “Survivor Man”.

42. I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. – Kevin Malone, Season 3, “Beach Games.

43. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged? -Dwight Schrute.

44. As a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy, I’ve been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out… she was. With a couple of guys actually, so… mystery solved.-Dwight Schrute.

45. Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Fun Run (1).

46. I say dance, they say ‘How high?’ — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 6: St. Patrick’s Day.

47. Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that? — Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), The Office, Season 4: Money (2).

48. Michael is leaving. And apparently they’ve already hired a new manager. And we’re meeting him today. It’s a lot to process. Paperwork-wise. — Oscar Martinez (Oscar Nunez), The Office, Season 7: Training Day.

49. In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas (1).

50. Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 2: The Client.

51. The worst thing about prison was the dementors. – Michael “Prison Mike” Scott, Season 3, “The Convict”.

52. Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls. – Angela Martin, Season 3, “Women’s Appreciation”.

53. I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching. -Dwight Schrute.

54. Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 5: The Duel.

55. Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 6: The Delivery (2).

56. Tell him to call me ASAP as possible. — Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 5: New Boss.

See Also: 50 Powerful and Inspirational Yoda Quotes From Star Wars Movies

57. There is no such thing as an appropriate joke, that’s why it’s a joke. — B.J. Novak, The Office, Season 2: Sexual Harassment.

58. My future isn’t going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It’s going to be determined by two big black balls. — Darryl Philbin (Craig Robinson), The Office, Season 8: Lotto.

59. I’ve never been a kiss up. It’s just not how I operate. I mean I’ve always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work, half-heartedly. — Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), The Office, Season 5: Dream Team.

60. Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years, which I’m looking forward to. It’s an Amish technique. It’s like slapping someone with silence. — Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 3: Safety Training.

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